How do queers mourn the death of someone they love? With brunch of course!
If you haven’t heard already, Toronto’s beloved Videofag is closing up shop and so they’ve been holding funeral services (yes, that’s plural) to help our community mourn. I went to the brunch service to deliver the following eulogy in honour of this tragic moment in history.
Dearly beloved,
We are gathered here today
To get through this thing called life, after videofag
Electric word: videofag
It means something queer, and that’s a mighty gay thing
But I’m here to tell you
There’s something else
The after world
A world of never ending videos
Where you can always see the fags, day or night
So when you call up that shrink in Mississauga
You know the one, Dr. Everything’ll Be Alright
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your minds been wasted
‘Cause without vodeofag
Things will be harder in the after world
Now, in this life
You’re on your own
And if the elevator tries to bring you down
Go crazy, punch a higher floor
If you don’t like the world you’re living in
Take a look around you
At least you got some gay friends
You see I called my old non-specific-gendered-partner
For a friendly word
They picked up the phone
Dropped it on the floor
(Ah, ah) is all I heard
Goodbye Videofag.
R.I.P 2016